This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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