ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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