your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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