i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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