We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
