I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
