when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
