i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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