Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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