lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
