Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
