If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
this is an emotional support booty call
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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