he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize