I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
