he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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