No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
