I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
