So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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