did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
