Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
