More tranny stories later!
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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