Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
