Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize