look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
