There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
