I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize