just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
