I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
two words...techno handjob
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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