Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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