Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
