What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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