why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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