you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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