Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
