I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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