I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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