everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize