My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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