Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
