I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize