Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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