That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
