Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
