Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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