the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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