hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
