So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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