So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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