i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
