The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
