I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
