oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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