is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
