i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
