please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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