Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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