I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
